My name is Dana and I admit to being a crusher. Like a lot of females in this world, I am a proud NBSB (no boyfriend since birth) and yet I hold a weakness of never going without a crush.
I admit to having my days revolve around my crush at certain points, like walking by his classroom just hoping to catch a glimpse of him, going to an area in the campus because I know he’d be there at that time.
Yes, I am the type to take my crushes to the extremes; along the lines of stalking but not quite crossing it.
Ever since I entered college, I’ve had a seemingly never-ending supply of crushes. Coming from an all girl’s high school, I seemed to have been in a state of culture shock; what are these magnificent creatures?
Oh, right. BOYS.
Me, being the shy, awkward schoolgirl I am, immediately went on a crushing spree. According to my friends, during the first year of college, my crush seemed to be parallel to what others would have as the “flavor of the month”.
Changing my crushes on a monthly basis wasn’t so much of a big deal for me as it was for others, though I never really got why they were so shocked when I mentioned that I had a new crush. Eventually, they stopped getting shocked after the first 3 months of it.
What came with the change of crush was me actually becoming friends with my previous crushes. To this day, I can really say that I am friends with most of my college crushes, some of them casual acquaintances and others I’m really close to. Now, having developed a friendship with them, I find it strange to even consider liking them in “that” way once more.
Those are the guys I’ve had a crush on FIRST before they became my friend.
Then there are those guys I’m friends with first THEN they become my crush. It’s a lot harder that way, and a lot easier at the same time.
Because we are friends, we interact a lot more then I do with my usual crushes. It makes me deliriously happy at the same time, it frightens me because almost every second that I’m with that person, I’m on constant guard. Am I being too obvious? Oh gosh, does he know I like him?
Being careful with my actions, words, gestures, EVERYTHING. It’s a nightmare and a dream come true at the same time.
But as time goes by, I get used to it. Being friends with my crush, having a crush on my friend; it all eventually fades.
There are days that it seems like my crush is everything in this world, but then it fades away to them being just another milestone in my life.
In hindsight, I often find myself thinking about my outrageous behavior and just laughing at how much of a schoolgirl I can be when I get a crush and take it to the extreme.
Crushes are just crushes, in the end. They’re a free, unlimited supply of smiles and giggles for me to feel a rush of happiness on a day to day basis.
I’m currently midway in my second year of college, and I still constantly change crushes though not so much on a monthly basis anymore. My current crush is an acquaintance at best, I am still working on the friendship, and my previous crush is a friend I always say hi to and talk to whenever I get the chance.
There are days I get miserable and jealous seeing all the happy couples in the campus, but then I think about how lucky I am to be friends with all my ex-crushes and how those friendships have bloomed that I pretty much smile and think, well, life goes on.
Here’s to crushes and the crushers. Stay strong, fellow crushers. Our time will one day come.